Tasks of marriage: how to maintain interest in each other?
Sexual erotic function. Her tasks are not only in sexual satisfaction of partners, but also in physical contact (it’s so important that you are just taken and stroked), and in a sense of one’s own attractiveness, and … feeling of belonging to one’s gender. That is, for ladies it is important to feel like a Woman, and for their spouses it is equally important to feel like a Man. She needs to feel her fragility, that she is taken care of, taken care of, that she is beautiful, and that he can do something on his own, that he is obeyed, that he is strong and successful. If we talk specifically about sex, then, of course, in this area there are many subtleties. And a whole ton of concepts. For example, sexual compatibility or incompatibility. From a biological point of view, it is that the need for sex is different for everyone. People with a strong sexual constitution cannot live without sex, they are physically ill, and they really need sexual release. And people with a different type of constitution have almost no need for sex, they “need little” or not at all. Can you imagine what happens if there is such an incompatibility? There is still such a thing as a range of acceptability. This is about who and what is considered acceptable in the intimate sphere. It is not difficult to guess that if she is an avid BDSM woman, and he adheres to extremely traditional views, then it is unlikely that they will be together easily … Sexologists say that one of the difficulties in a couple’s intimate life is that there are no compromises. After all, either you offend / humiliate / rape the partner with your unacceptable desires for him, or are chronically unsatisfied with the marriage (I personally think that this is generally about each of the tasks of marriage). In addition, there are other features of this sphere of life: we know little about our own body, and we are afraid to learn about it in all details, and to say awkward to many – it is a very sensitive sphere. However, sex issues are good because if a couple is mentally prepared to work with it, then you can always improve your intimate life. It would be a desire. However, we can talk a lot about sex for a long time and exciting, but back to the tasks of marriage. It happens that the sexual erotic function for the couple becomes leading. In this case, the union rests on the attractiveness of each of the partners in the eyes of the other. These marriages, as a rule, are not the strongest: after all, if any of the participants in the process lose their attractiveness or stop admiring their partner (hello to daffodils), the couple will break up. Or turn into a three. 7. Spiritual, intellectual and leisure functions. This is the self-realization of partners, and spiritual growth, and ways to spend free time, and intellectual intimacy, and common hobbies. This feature, of course, really holds the pair together. And some cunning people, realizing this, pre-create the very “common” that helps to be together – for example, family traditions. Such partners try to find common interests, closely monitor each other’s development. And it happens (and often) that one “outgrew” the other, but he did not have time, could not or did not want to. It is especially annoying when it turns out after many years of living together … But it also happens that a couple makes a “bet” on this function. And then they are very reminiscent of fellow friends who develop together, learn the world and go one way. True, there are risks here: after all, friendship can forget about other tasks. For example, there are times when there is nothing to eat, but talking to each other is cool. Or when in a partner you see an interesting person, but not a creature of the opposite sex. In a marriage, of course, the tasks of the couple and the tasks of each of the partners are closely intertwined. With age, our needs and attitudes can change, and with a new stage in the development of a family, the need to re-solve the same problems will easily arise. It may happen that for some tasks it will take more time and effort, for some – less, and there is a possibility that for this pair one of the tasks will be impossible. In the end, there is no universal “right” way to build relationships. There is one way that suits a particular pair at a given time.