Does unrequited love really exist?
Love is a mutual feeling. Relations where passion, dependence, hours of waiting for a call, rare meetings, relationships at a distance, life between “near” and “disappeared” live – all this has nothing to do with love. Because there is neither the one who loves nor the one they love: one was dissolved, the second was invented. There are no two people. There is no consideration of the needs and desires of the one who loves, and no personality of the one who is loved. There are strong feelings, a million thoughts and plans, thinking over words, searching for excuses and so on. In irresponsibility, we “love” not man, but “love” in itself. This is the victim’s love for his torment, for a bunch of emotions that fill the spiritual life. Despite all the suffering, unrequited “love” is easier than being in a mature relationship. No need to adjust, see and get along with the shortcomings, to be close to a real person. It is much easier to be with a dream than with a real and living one. Think: when love is “intermittent,” then we do not see a person as he is. We are blinded by the desire to be together or to deserve attention. But we do not know what he is like every day, what matters to him, what values he has, how he behaves in different situations. The victim of “irresponsibility” fills his life with emotions. Inside, she is empty, alienated from her own “I” and does not understand where her personality ends, and where the stranger begins. And the victim has no idea how to make herself happy, what she really needs. In order not to encounter an unbearably frightening inner emptiness, she fills herself with feelings and fantasies that if she is finally reciprocated, then the long-awaited happiness will come. And the trick is that it’s worth going to such a pair from the scenario of unrequited love for mutual love, as passion will immediately subside. Half a year will be good for them together, but then again longing for strong emotions will come (they loved “love” rather than a partner). And the couple is either falling apart, or the victim is looking for a new way to suffer … Photo: pixabay.com People often think and say that people who enter into a “difficult” relationship simply don’t think about the future — either they don’t know how or don’t want to think ahead. Partly it is: the lover is only concerned with how to be around more often and more. But the problem is not in the long-term plans, but in the fact that they do not think about their future. About myself, that is. Such people do not have self-esteem and have no habit of taking care of themselves. But there is fear. Fear whispering in your ear: “Don’t you dare to demand respect for yourself, otherwise they will stop loving you right away!” Nobody needs you on their own, but if you serve, adapt, endure, make yourself comfortable – someday they will definitely appreciate it. He will see how good you are and will love you for it. ” And this fear convinces you to do anything, to believe in any excuses, but just not to take care of yourself. It may seem that there are two opposite extremes to which we often fail: to love everyone except ourselves, or to love only ourselves. That is, there are those who only give and those who only take. But in fact, both one and the other are about dislike of oneself. The first are rescuers, good girls and boys, victims who are unrequitedly loving, inclined to enter into a “difficult” relationship. Those who care about everyone but themselves. They once learned that love and warmth must be bit by bit, that intimacy and pain are inextricably linked. They buy love with suffering: “What else can I do to get warmth and attention?” So we deprive ourselves of the love of other people. The normal, healthy, honest love of two people familiar with the phrase “mutual respect”. And not the dog’s love for the owner.