Is it worth talking to a man about his ex?
Often this is outrage (“How could he do this!”), Often hatred (“You ruined my whole life!”), Often jealousy (“How could you exchange me for this?”) And very often greed (“ Well, now you will pay me in full! ”). All people are emotional and in the midst of post-love trials can say a lot in a rash: too many strings of soul and heart are hurt. And of course, experiencing and discussing it with close friends is an understandable and explainable process of healing heart wounds. But everything is good in moderation. Very often, the girl can’t stop and continues to tell everyone she’s told about how bastard her former faithful was and how he did bad to her. Even when a new relationship looms on the horizon and she meets another man, for some reason she considers it obligatory to tell him about “everything was really”. If you do the same, you make a huge mistake, and here’s why: 1. The man, along with her story, receives “instructions for the use of this girl”. If the girl says that the former cheated on her, did not respect, did not give money and did not spend the night at home, then she shows thereby what level of relationship she had. And that she agreed to this level. If he periodically cheated on her, and she remained in a relationship with him – that means, in general, she agrees to endure treason and this will not become the reason for the breakup. And therefore, you can gulnut. If she says that the former did not give her money and she did everything herself – excellent! He hears from her own lips that the girl is used to providing for herself and to pull all her problems. So, he should not strain. Imagine buying a used car and choosing between two options. The owner of one car – loved her very much, poured only the best gasoline, polished it, regularly washed it, she stood in the heated garage and went through MOT in time. Buying this car, you will also take care of it and also follow it. At least at first. But if the owner of the car tells you that he smoked in it, so the seats are slightly burnt, transported construction waste in it, sometimes the workers spent the night in it, then you will treat this machine the same as he did. Not to mention the fact that you clearly prefer to buy the first. Remember: never tell your new man how your ex treated you if you do not want him to repeat his behavior. pixabay.com 2. With these stories you can scare away a good man. If you show that the quality of your relationship was like this, then you show the standard of your ideas. That is, for you this is the norm. But there is a high probability that this man to whom you speak with such enthusiasm about this, has in his head a completely different standard of qualitative relations. And if you tell me that they cheated on you, didn’t give you money, deceived, and even beaten sometimes, then your stories seem wild and far from him for him. He listens to them as some kind of game, which has nothing to do with his ideas. Like a crazy Brazilian series about the inhabitants of poor neighborhoods. They scream, and scandal, and dance at the funeral. He looked, was surprised, smiled and forgot. It’s not in his head to start treating you the same way as your ex, but only because he is, in principle, a different person, of a different level and with other, better, foundations and values. Therefore, he, of course, will listen, perhaps even sympathize, but as a woman he will not wake up interest in you. pixabay.com 3. A woman who tells nasty things, gossip and nasty details of someone else’s biography is unpleasant in itself. Such people, in principle, scare away and turn away from themselves. If you are beautiful, smart, wonderful, then why are you taking dirty linen out of the hut and telling you that no one needs to know besides the two of you? In addition, everyone understands that when telling such stories, people often exaggerate. Telling this, a girl usually shows herself in a beautiful light – she is smart, and beautiful, and she tried and worked, and he, of course, is completely worthless.