How to stop being a housekeeper in a family?
This article is for all business women or even women who by nature possess the habits and qualities of a leader. I will share with you my experience and tools on how to make sure that your man and children do not feel crushed and do not experience your commanding talents. Both top points can be applied to me: by nature I have strong leadership qualities of character and I became the leader already at the age of 21. And when she got married, then, out of inexperience, she began to bring her skills and manners to the head of the house. If we talk about a husband, then very often careerists, women leaders do not have a family, because they suppress a man, do not allow him to develop, his masculine nature remains unfulfilled. After all, the task of a man is to obtain, protect, contain. And why would he do all this if a woman herself procures, protects and contains? From inexperience, it seemed to me that I could do everything myself and was ready to save the whole world (including my family), that I could build, organize, and know how to do it better than anyone. As a result, it almost came to a divorce, given that my husband is also a strong personality. And at that moment he told me a very wise phrase: “Life is changing, sometime, you may have to change places. If the banner falls out, another will have to raise it. The only question is whether this other will be ready for such responsibility, whether he will be interested in this and sufficiently motivated. ” Then I had to reconsider my female role in the family and think about whether it is so important for me to “keep everything in my hands”. And I realized that after all, the main role of a woman leader is to support her team and faith in each of her members, faith in his success and ability to cope with the tasks. And since it so happened that I am by nature a leader and ex officio a leader, it is very difficult for me to abandon this role and it is unconsciously transferred to the family, then I decided for myself like this: the family is also my main “partners” and “team” , just from a different angle, and it can be seen as a team. And having gained experience and professionalism, I began to use wonderful tools at home, management models that are usually used in business, but in the family they also proved to be excellent. Photo: Depositphotos I use them not from the position of self-affirmation, suppression, and the desire to prove something to someone, but from the desire to give every member of my family the opportunity to become better, feel happy, have the opportunity to develop, to assert themselves in a way that is natural for him and as you want. An introvert or extrovert It seems that there is nothing unusual in these words, everyone has long known what an extrovert and introvert are, but for some reason, in practice, hardly anyone interacts with a person from an understanding of his type. One day, I suddenly asked my husband if he was doing well at work. This question is completely unusual for me, so he was very surprised to hear it, and immediately asked if everything was fine with me. And later I realized that I had not asked him about his affairs before, not because I was not interested or unimportant, but because I myself always talk about how I am doing things and generally constantly chatting, it’s very important for me speak out. It seemed to me that he, too, should talk about what he wants to express, and if he is silent, then he does not consider the topic of work important or simply does not want to talk about it. I did not think that my husband is an introvert, and he definitely needs to ask questions about his affairs, and he will answer them with pleasure, but he is unlikely to start a conversation. Photo: Depositphotos Now, knowing the nature of introverts, I understand how best to communicate with my husband. Thus, our relationship improved by one point. Delegation As I wrote above, for me a family is the same team or collective where everyone carries out his function or the task assigned to him. The main thing is to determine in advance who and what functionality performs, who is better at this or that task, and who should give it for execution. And then it’s important not to interfere. I understand that my husband performs certain tasks and certain functionalities in the family, which he chose for himself in order to develop and maintain his masculine nature. I don’t interfere here, he does everything as he sees fit. The main thing for us is the result. It is only important to remember that it is necessary to delegate to those who are ready for this, are interested in the task and are able to complete the task – this is in addition to “crushing” family members. It is important that each member of the family becomes a partner for you, and not a subordinate.